Ralph Watilo

Ralph A. Watilo (1931-2021)

Whenever Ralph Allan Watilo had a problem, he mulled over every detail until he had the ideal solution. He poured this perfectionism into everything he loved, such as classical music, VWs, photography, woodworking and family. While he would have eventually found a way to live forever, too, he ran out of time in the early morning hours of July 11, 2021, at the age of 90, with his wife and youngest daughter at his side. They said their farewells as Richard Wagner’s opera, Tristan und Isolde, played on the radio.

Ralph was a talented and respected classical musician who retired from professional life as an oboist with the Kansas City Symphony in 1999. The devotion and dedication to music began in his home town of Long Beach, California. Born on January 12, 1931, it wasn’t long before his parents, William John and Mary Lois Elizabeth recognized his musical talent and began taking him to music lessons around Los Angeles, along with his two brothers, William (Bill) and Lawrence (Larry). Ralph began performing semi-professionally at age 14 with the Pasadena Symphony. One of his first solos was so nerve-wracking that he didn’t remember playing it until his fellow musicians were patting him on the back for completing the piece.

As a principal oboist for Honolulu Symphony at age 19, Ralph would body surf or hike by day and perform by night. This idyllic lifestyle was interrupted by the Korean War. He performed his military duty with the United States Air Force in The Philippines, where he took a seat with the U.S. Air Force Band. During this time, he developed a keen interest in street photography, documenting life and the local culture outside of the military base, and formed friendships with people he met.

When the young veteran returned to civilian life, he spent a few years playing in orchestras in Los Angeles and around southern California. During that time, he met and married his first wife, Carolyn, with whom he had four children. His career took the growing family to Salt Lake City, Utah; Rochester, New York, and, finally, Kansas City, Missouri. Later, while working with the Kansas City Symphony, he met and married violinist Roberta Eaton.

While he would go to work in formal wear, looking like a dapper James Bond, he was most comfortable in cut-off jeans and knee-high tube socks paired with off-brand Birkenstock-style sandals. He may have occupied the first chair in the symphony, but during his career, he also formed the first Junior high school band program at a Kansas City-area parochial school and tutored around 50 private students. Outside of work, he’d most often be found standing over his workbench creating furniture pieces of his own design, or tinkering under the hood of a finicky VW camper, which would take the family on excursions all over the western United States and Canada.

In his children, he instilled a strong work ethic; independence; critical thinking skills; a healthy work/life balance; and the importance of saving and investing. They also absorbed his love of the great outdoors, his pun-loving humor and the power of kindness. Even after suffering a debilitating stroke in 2013 that left him unable to walk or speak, he would comfort his wife, Roberta (Bobbie), and other rehab patients with a gentle smile and a squeeze of his hand. When it came to his own rehabilitation, he never once gave up trying to get better and to walk again.

Ralph will be lovingly remembered by his devoted wife of 40 years, Roberta Watilo, of Santa Fe, New Mexico; his former spouse, Carolyn Watilo, of Rocky River, Ohio, and their children: Lesley Watilo, Rocky River, Ohio; Lenore Houston (p. Charles Pacheco), Cochiti Lake, New Mexico; John Watilo (m. Carol), Lewisville, Texas; and Laura Watilo Blake (m. Christopher), Bay Village, Ohio. Ralph is also survived by two grandchildren, three great-grandchildren; brother Lawrence Watilo (m. Laney), Kingman, Arizona; a cousin Joyce Lackman, Long Beach, California; plus many nieces and nephews. Ralph was predeceased by brother William Watilo.

Cremation services provided by Rivera Family Funerals & Cremations of Santa Fe. A Celebration of Life will be planned for a later date. Memorial contributions may be made to the American Stroke Association in Ralph’s name.

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